She stood there , pleading , but my mind was made up.  The moment  she looked at me with those beautiful hazel eyes , I recognized the look coz it’s a look I had seen before, she was smiling but I could see the sadness in those eyes, a  cry for help even . Every fiber in my body was pushing me to say yes to her, to save her and I almost gave in.  This was not new to me , I always do this, like a magnet I attract the broken ones and in a blink of an eye, I dive in with all my rescue gear trying to save them. But it never works I too become engulfed in their darkness and before I know it I’m drowning too. I have  had a lifeline thrown at me several times and that’s how I survived and  I have learnt my lesson now, but is it learning if I keep repeating the same mistakes over and over? . So no matter how strong the urge to hold her hand was I couldn’t let my self succumb to that. How can I offer something that I don’t have . Perhaps I failed at my rescue attempts because I too was lost and I need to find myself before I can’t try rescuing someone else. So I slowly let go of her hand,  Looked at those sorrowful hazel eyes , for what could been  the last time and said ” if not in this lifetime, perhaps in the next”…